Anger is a natural emotion, and it’s completely normal for couples to get angry with each other. But it’s important to learn how to manage anger in relationships in a healthy and effective way. This blog post explores how to recognise and manage anger in a relationship, and provides tips for dealing with an angry person in a relationship and controlling your own anger.
Introduction to Anger Management in Relationships
Anger is an emotion that can be difficult to manage in any situation. In relationships, it can be especially challenging to manage anger due to the close and intimate nature of the relationship. It’s important to learn how to recognise, manage, and control anger in relationships. This post provides a guide to understanding and managing anger in relationships.
Causes of Anger in Relationships
There are many causes of anger in relationships. Some of the most common causes of anger include feelings of hurt, frustration, betrayal, and disappointment. Other causes of anger in relationships can include power struggles, unresolved issues, miscommunication, and unmet needs.
How Anger Damages Relationships
When anger is not managed properly, it can damage relationships. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, communication breakdowns, and unresolved issues. It can also lead to stonewalling, which is when one partner refuses to communicate or engage in the relationship. This can cause resentment and further damage the relationship.
How to Recognise and Manage Anger in a Relationship
The first step in managing anger in a relationship is recognising the signs of anger. Signs of anger can include raised voices, increased body tension, and aggressive behaviour. It’s important to recognise these signs and take steps to manage the anger before it gets out of control.
There are particular patterns you should be looking for and they include:
Aggression that you experience in multiple forms including emotional, verbal, bullying, throwing things, punching walls, and passive-aggression.
Difficulty Enjoying Activities or carrying out tasks together because unresolved issues lead to anger between you.
You Give in to Avoid Outbursts - giving in is out of fear not out of love for your partner.
Belittling a partner by minimising and humiliating them - this is character assassination and it is poisonous to all relationships.
Negative self-talk which usually shows up in extremes like "this relationship is a complete failure" or self-defeating thinking like "I will never be able to get this right."
Lack of assertive communication - aggression is not assertiveness. In assertiveness, we stay responsible for ourselves and ask for what we need. In aggression, we make the other person responsible like "I'm angry because you did..." This has a toxic affect on the relationship and, underneath, the angry partner doesn't feel like they have the right to have their needs met. Or, alternatively, they think their emotions matter more than yours and that you should 'mind read' and know already what they feel.
Lacking in awareness of one's own emotions occurs when a person is angry and speaking angrily because they even realise what they're feeling. In a lack of emotional awareness it is easy to lose control without even knowing it.
The next step is to learn how to manage the anger in a healthy way. This can include communication techniques such as active listening, expressing feelings without blaming, and validating each other’s feelings. It’s also important to take time to cool off before continuing the conversation.
Are you a victim of violence and need urgent help? Seek out help at Befrienders.
Tips for Dealing with an Angry Person in a Relationship
When dealing with an angry person in a relationship, it’s important to remain calm and understanding. It’s also important to remember that the other person is likely feeling hurt and frustrated, and that their anger is not directed at you. It’s also important to listen to what they are saying and make sure that your response is respectful and validating.
How to Handle Anger Towards a Spouse
When dealing with anger towards a spouse, it’s important to remember that it’s natural to feel angry. However, it’s important to take steps to manage the anger in a healthy way. This can include taking a break from the situation, expressing your anger in a respectful way, and setting boundaries. It’s also important to remember that communication is key to resolving conflict.
Strategies for Controlling Your Own Anger in a Relationship
Controlling your own anger in a relationship is essential for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Some strategies for controlling your own anger include taking a break from the situation, counting to ten, and taking deep breaths. It’s also important to practice self-care and seek professional help if needed.
How to Deal with Anger Issues in a Relationship
If anger issues are causing problems in a relationship, it’s important to seek help. A therapist can help couples learn how to manage and control their anger in a healthy way. Couples therapy can also help couples learn how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts.
How to Keep Calm When Your Partner Gets Angry
It can be difficult to stay calm when your partner gets angry. It’s important to remember that anger is a normal emotion and that your partner likely isn’t directing their anger at you. It’s also important to take a break from the situation, validate your partner’s feelings, and keep communication open.
Conclusion
Anger is a normal emotion, and it’s important to learn how to manage it in relationships. This blog post provides a comprehensive guide to understanding and managing anger in relationships, including tips for dealing with an angry person in a relationship, how to handle anger towards a spouse, and strategies for controlling your own anger in a relationship. By learning how to recognise and manage anger in a healthy and effective way, couples can build strong, healthy relationships.
